shorts

short | Should Parents Always Be Firm?

Should parents always be firm? We often hear that yes, we should set rules for our family and keep them. We hear that kids need borders. We hear that we shouldn’t give in when a kid is screaming to get something they shouldn’t have/touch/do right now.

Keep the rules, don’t let kids cross the borders. Be firm.

It is a good advice. Partially.

Because on the other hand…

When the kid is begging for something they shouldn’t have or do or touch and keep repeating their request and repeating and misbehaving and you are cold, keep the rules and don’t let them get/do it, you can kill something in them. Something…

about which they’ll read somewhere in the future in a wise motivational book, maybe even written by you…

in a book that admires kids for never giving up, for going for their dreams, for never taking no for an answer…

Do you get it?

Kids are irresistible in going for their wants and needs. Irresistible by nature.

And then we tell them: You cannot eat your breakfast in pajamas. Or: Stop throwing these rocks into the water. Or: No, you cannot get X now. Or: No, I won’t…

If we keep doing it for a long time, we will kill something in these kids.

They will stop asking, begging, screaming because they’ll know that the borders are real. They’ll stop believing that they can do everything.

They will need to wait until they’ll discover motivational books, maybe in their twenties, to read that they can do anything. And to be encouraged to look at the irresistible kids.

Conclusion: Allow them more, forbid them less.

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